More Rules Than I Ever Imagined
Having been in business leadership and as a father for over a decade now, I’ve found myself making more rules than I ever expected. In some cases, they simply clarify how we do things. In others, I’m shaking my head thinking, “I can’t believe this needs to be a rule.”
Most of the time, rule-making doesn’t look like a list of “do nots.” Rather, rules tend to clarify boundaries or define how we want something done. They often arise from a question that keeps coming up.
- “When is lunch?”
- “Where can we ride scooters?”
- “What’s a practical joke, and what’s a safety hazard?”
- “Why can’t we listen to the music I like?”
I’ll let you guess which of those come from parenting and which come from running a business!
The Rule for Making Rules
Your kids and your team need structure and boundaries. Done correctly, the stability they provide encourages growth and even creates a sense of freedom within bounds. Done wrong, rules can feel overcomplicated, restrictive, and demotivating. Fortunately, I’ve found a simple principle that helps steer rule-making in a positive direction — a phrase I repeat often:
“First the Rule, Then the Exceptions.”
All the Exceptions!
When making rules, you’re often faced with a daunting number of circumstances and variables. Even something as simple as “When can we eat?” can spiral quickly:
- “What if I’m really hungry and getting lightheaded?”
- “What if I got busy and forgot to eat earlier?”
- “What if my friend accidentally ate my leftovers, and I had to make a whole new lunch, but first had to go to the grocery store, where I ran into another friend who had a flat tire…”
You get the picture.
Where to Start
Instead of working through every possible scenario, start by stating the rule. Ask yourself: What is the desired result? What is the primary question that needs to be answered?
Be cautious about diving into abnormal scenarios before you’ve clearly stated a proposed rule. Exceptions may need to be considered, but without a rule, what are you testing them against?
Craft a simple rule that will produce the desired result the majority of the time. That’s the key — don’t build the rule around the exceptions. Start as simply as possible, focused on answering the primary question and achieving the desired result.
Testing the Rule and Its Exceptions
Once you’ve stated the rule, you can work through reasonable exceptions. They’re bound to come up, and navigating them thoughtfully is where real leadership is required.
Create Good Habits
Good rules should become second nature and streamline how things get done. They remove the need to constantly re-ask the same question and make outcomes more predictable. What you lose in flexibility, you often gain in stability.
I won’t claim this principle will solve all your problems. But you may be surprised how much it simplifies the process. Get in the habit of crafting the rule first, then thinking through exceptions. Train your team to tell the difference between the two. Don’t get bogged down chasing 10,000 exceptions when what you’re really after is one clear, simplifying rule.